opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
