Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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