Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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