YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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