bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
that is very illegal...i love you.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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