Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
