I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
