the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
