I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm passing your future prison.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
