so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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