Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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