Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
