omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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