Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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