I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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