Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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