watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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