The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize