I accidentally burped into my bong.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
