He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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