Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
