Just took my morning after pill in the library
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize