You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
