apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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