Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
