you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
