dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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