I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
