We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
