He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
