I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize