The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
