A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
