Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Randomize
