Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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