$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
