As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize