This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
