What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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