I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
