I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
