Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Randomize
