Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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