what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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