Umm I'm too high to move.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
