But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
