How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
