ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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