remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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