just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
