problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You have to summon your inner elephant
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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