I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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