Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
