id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
