the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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