Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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