After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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