Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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