So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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