Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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