very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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