Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
