I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize