Christians are straight up FREAKS
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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