She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
