and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
