I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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