Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
