so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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