Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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