Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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