I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
